From potty-training to potty mouth?  Popular ABC show Modern Family sparks controversy with its episode featuring a swearing toddler. What can real parents do about toddlers and 4-letter words?

Little Bo Bleep

Sometimes toddlers will curse, as portrayed on a recently aired episode of ABC sitcom Modern Family. In the episode, 2 year-old Lily mortifies her family by dropping a series of well-placed “F-bombs.” Although the offending words were bleeped out, and the actress playing Lily never actually says the F-word (she was directed to say the word “fudge”), the episode sparked some protest, including that from the Parents Television Council.

Parent to parent, I know all too well that this sort of thing does happen in real life.

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From the Mouths of Babes…

I’ll never forget when my own son, then also two, blurted out the F Word. My parents were over and having a wonderful time watching their only grandson play happily with the toy train set they had just delivered. Kevin picked up one of the trains, it slipped from his little hands, and out flew the profanity.

You should have seen it– my mom and dad’s heads whipping around in unison from Kevin to me, glaring accusingly. I feebly tried to explain to my parents that we didn’t use that kind of language around him (we didn’t), and that he probably got it from his daycare, but they just shook their heads at me in disapproval.

To this day, I can’t be sure where he picked up that word and how he knew the exact moment to let it rip. But I do know that I didn’t make a big deal about it then, and he (thankfully) never dropped the F-bomb again.

Tips for When Toddlers Say Bad Words

So what should parents do if they find that their tots have picked up some “off-color” vocabulary?

1.     Ignore the Word

“The best thing to do is just ignore the word,” advises parenting expert Susie Walton. “At that age, they don’t know what it is they’re saying yet.”

At around 24 months old, toddlers do not understand the meaning of swear words, but they do understand the reactions of the people around them after they’ve said the swear words. Do your best to stifle that laugh, or converserly, refrain from scolding! Don’t encourage the bad language by acting like it’s cute or like it’s some cool party trick. And don’t lecture or punish the child about it either. Big reactions to words, positive or negative, will reinforce the use of that word.

Learn more from parenting expert Susie Walton in our online course!

2.     Teach Another Way to Express What They’re Feeling

“It’s a good idea to find another word or phrase to express what your toddler is feeling in that moment,” offers Walton. “For instance if she uses a swear word when she’s upset, don’t acknowledge the swear word. You can say, ‘You’re mad!’ instead. That’s how she’s really feeling. Chances are she’ll repeat it, and she’ll start using expressions of feelings herself.”

Remember, toddlers may repeat swear words even when they’re not upset or angry since they don’t really know what they mean. Again, ignore the swear word, and focus on teaching them how to express their present emotions.

3.     Watch Your Own Language

“The most important thing parents can do to keep their kids from swearing is to not swear themselves,” says Walton. “Just cut it from your vocabulary. Kids won’t repeat something they never hear.”

Kids are like little sponges. They absorb everything they’re exposed to, even when you’re not speaking directly to them. Ask yourselves the following questions to give yourself a better idea of what is being modeled to your child.

1. What comes out of your mouth when you stub your toe?
2. Do you watch movies or television with bad language when they’re around?
3. Can they overhear your “colorful” telephone conversations?
4. What kind of language do your partner, their older siblings, care givers, grandparents, aunties and uncles use when they’re around your child?

You won’t be able to filter everything your child hears, especially as they get older, but you can definitely make sure that swear words are not a regular thing in your household. Speak with all the “members of your village” so they know of your intention to keep the language around your child Rated G.

Kids really do say the darndest things sometimes. Make sure what they say is clean and curse-free by following these three steps.

by Pamela Laney