Got guilt? If you’re a mother, the answer is probably a resounding yes. This Mother’s Day, remember how amazing you are and let go of the guilt.

You may have braced yourself for the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the spilt milk. You’ve probably read up on nutrition, brain development, and schooling. But the one challenge of motherhood that no one ever really tells you about? It’s the guilt.

That’s right. All mothers experience guilt to a certain degree. Frankly, I have felt guilt every single day since my son was born 9 years ago. About what, you ask? Where do I begin? I feel guilty that…

• I’m short on time.
• I have a short fuse.
• I have “short” genes.
• I don’t always buy organic.
• I have to leave my kid in afterschool daycare.
• Sometimes I’m too strict.
• Sometimes I’m too lenient.
• I once put my 4 year-old son in a pair of my underpants because I hadn’t gotten to his laundry. (This one still makes me cringe.)

This is a very abbreviated list that grows on the daily. And I wondered why my mother was so good at giving guilt trips—she’s been feeling it herself for 37 years. My point is that moms are already hard-wired this way. We want so badly to give our kids everything we never had (without spoiling them). We want them to know how special and wonderful and beautiful they are (without turning them into praise junkies). We want to help them through all their trials and tribulations (without creating debilitating co-dependence).

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You see, this is what the issue is. It just seems like there are too many ways we can screw up our children! Books, the news, our friends, and yes, even our own mothers will tell us we’re not doing it right, despite all our best efforts.

So here’s something different. This Mother’s Day, you’re going to give yourself a present. This Mother’s Day, you’re going to cut yourself some slack. Here’s why.

Moms Work It

You work hard. It doesn’t matter if you stay at home or drive to an office. You work. Think of everything you do before most people even clock-in for work. Furthermore, you’re on duty all day, on call all night, and you never get a day off.

Add to that the weight of motherhood. Critical decisions are made every day: what to feed your children, where to enroll them, how to discipline them. You build their confidence, lift their spirits, and teach their values. You are their first and most lasting impression of a modern woman. That’s a huge load to bear, but you carry it with grace, humor, and healthy snacks in your purse.

You are amazing.

No One Is Perfect All the Time

I’m sure there are plenty of times when you actually were perfect, but all-the-time perfection is an unattainable goal. You’re not going to get it right every single time and that’s perfectly okay. You do your best with what you know and what you have.

Also remember that mistakes are part of life. This is how we learn and grow. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned or when you forget something or when you lose your temper. Your kids will learn how to deal with their own mistakes by watching how you deal with yours. We don’t want our kids wracked with guilt because they’re not perfect, so un-wrack yourself of yours.

Here’s a nugget of wisdom that I read recently: “There is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a great one.” I bet you already know a million and one ways.

Everyone Deserves a Little Slack

Our kids deserve it. Our spouses deserve it. Our family, friends, and colleagues deserve it. Moms are usually the ones giving the slack, picking up the slack, sometimes they even wear the slacks. But mothers continue to be so hard on themselves.

This Mother’s Day, cut yourself some slack. Let go of the guilt. Enjoy your children. And know you are loved, appreciated, and celebrated.

by Pamela Layug Laney