How well do you listen to your kids? Take this short quiz to find out your listening style.

We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak! 

Listening Style Quiz

Tally up the number of As, Bs, Cs, and Ds you choose to find out what type of listener you are at the end!

1.When my child/teen talks to me, I typically…

a. only respond if it affects me directly.
b. I listen to the first part of what they say, so I get the gist. After a bit, I tend to get distracted by whatever’s on my mind.
c. stop what I’m doing and listen intently.
d. stop what I’m doing, get down on his/her level and look into his/her eyes while I listen.

2. When it comes to the tone of voice my child/teen uses…

a. I don’t notice different tones.
b. I take notice when they say something in a whiny or angry tone of voice.
c. I try to listen for the total message, including the words she says and the tone of her voice.
d. I know how my child is feeling by the tone of her voice, even if her words say the opposite.

3. When I communicate with my child/teen at home, it’s usually…

a. yelling, from across the room (or from another room)
b. at normal volumes, but I’m usually doing something else at the same time.
c. while we are looking at each other.
d. face to face, eye level, and touching.

4. How many times do I have to ask my child/teen to do something before he/she does it?

a. My child seldom does what I ask.
b. It may take several times, but eventually my child gives in.
c. I may have to repeat myself once or twice, but not often.
d. One time.

5. How true is the following statement: “I have to yell to get my children to do what I ask.”

a. Always true
b. Usually true
c. Sometimes true
d. Seldom true

6. How frequently do I empathize with my child/teen?

a. Hardly ever; I’ve got bigger problems.
b. Only when I agree with what they’re saying.
c. I usually empathize with my child.
d. I try to get into my child’s shoes and confirm with him/her that I understand correctly.

7. Do my kids feel free to come to me to discuss uncomfortable issues, like friends, peer pressure, sex, and difficulties at school?

a. I don’t even want to know about this stuff…
b. My kids would probably not want to talk to me about that stuff because they know I’d flip my lid or they wouldn’t want to add to my worries.
c. My kids might be reluctant to share these things with me, but I know they would.
d. My kids often comes to me with personal issues like this, because I listen to them, empathize, and try to be supportive.

Scoring

If your answers were mostly As then you are not listening at all.
You dismiss most of what your kids say to you, so you shouldn’t be surprised if they ignore what you say to them. Take some time to reevaluate the kind of relationship you’d like to have with your children, and consider taking a parenting course to build your listening skills and reconnect with your kids.

If your answers were mostly Bs then you may be pretending to listen.
You are too busy in your mind thinking about something other than what your child is saying to you, yet you appear to be listening by offering an “uh huh” or “I understand” scattered in the conversation. Your objective is to make your child feel like you’re listening so perhaps he/she will leave you alone to finish what you’re doing. Your kids probably mirror the behavior you model, making it a challenge to get them to listen to you. Brush up on your listening skills in order to make communicating with your kids less challenging.

If you answered mostly Cs, you are an attentive listener.
You are fully present to your child. You are not only listening to what your child is saying, but you are also attuned to his/her body language and the tone of his voice. Your objective is to “be there” for your child. Find out how to improve your already stellar listening skills!

If you answered mostly Ds, then you are an empathetic listener. 
Empathetic listening is the capacity to recognize and share feelings that are being communicated by your child. This is the deepest level of listening and requires one to suspend all judgment. Your objective is to really “get” what your child is trying to communicate so he/she feels heard, accepted, and understood. Find out exactly what it is you’re doing right!

Improve Your Listening with our course: Help! My Child Won’t Listen!

I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE ONLINE LISTENING COURSE!

You will learn:

What is Preventing My Child From Listening?
Steps to Encourage Listening
The 7 Forms of Listening
10 Tips For Better Listening
Listening Parents are Approachable Parents